Thinking about how the mind works. Pure and impure mind.

That word “pure” is a bit much though, isn’t it?

I had an annoyance earlier today when reviewing work from a colleague. I nearly wrote ‘subordinate’ there, which would have been another… unskillful, that’s a better word. Unskillful thought. Or state of mind.

The original one was the annoyance I was having. They handed in some work that I know I could have done better. I called them out on the quality of it very indirectly and then later wrote my own version of the code, which I’m quite happy with. I think all of that was a little unskillful. Not necessarily the actions, they almost don’t matter at all. The actions could have remained largely unchanged if the state of mind was more skilful.

Which, actually, might give me a way out. I can continue from now, after having changed my state of mind, and treat the actions of the past with this new perspective.

But first, to understand the mistakes.

Maybe writing ‘subordinate’ above wouldn’t have been the second but instead was still the first unskilled thought, only never until now written down and examined. But that is what I thought, I think. Not even a colleague to be assisted but a subordinate. Synonymous with ‘dependant’. That’s something I could do without.

I wrote that code almost out of spite. I wanted to prove to… my self? “the world”?… that I could do it, and better, and what was I wasting my time dealing with people who couldn’t. And then I got annoyed at the thought of not having the courage or mental wherewithal to make any use of what I’d done. It was just to prove a point to no-one and I was still preparing to wait, arms metaphorically folded, while they produced the inferior code and then sulk every time I come across it in the years to come.

While actually, with the same actions and a more skilful mindset I instead have a friend who might enjoy learning a few new tricks in a field they’re interested in. And I have a tested example I can enjoy sharing with them.

And there never was any rush, either.