It was actually the Covid lockdowns that gave me some initial reprieve. In Ireland those lockdowns were long; months of living alone in a city without the usual traffic, shopping, tourism, commerce. And I loved it.

Throughout my mid 20s to my mid 30s I probably never would have said I was depressed, only that I realised we were all wasting our time going through the drudgery every day. Then suddenly with the lockdowns there was this peace, a lack of expectations and a wonderful unknown. Sure there were moments of unease while we couldn’t help but contemplate the worst outcomes, but mostly I enjoyed those years and they brought a new freedom to think creatively about the future.

When the lockdowns finally ended I didn’t want that feeling I had found to end with them. I started to feel my new found peace and happiness drifting away as the people and the cars came back to fill the city again. Except, now that I knew a different way of being with the world was available, I realised I’d just have to work to cultivate and preserve what I had discovered. For me, the long term version of that is giving more deliberate attention to my spiritual life, which at least for now (and my teachers might have some words to say about my lack of commitment there) has taken the form of the dharma, the Buddha, and the sangha.